(Excerpted from the book “Bullies, Parasites and Slaves: Replacing Exploitation with Mutual Care” at BPS.online)
What follows is a brief survey of what’s often called the “Golden Rule”—the shining wisdom of mutual care across faiths, philosophies and worldviews. The count in parentheses is the estimated number of current followers, whether actively practicing or not, if known. These numbers aren’t meant to suggest one tradition is more important than another, but simply to show how many people across the world identify with views that contain one shared insight: a golden rule of caring for others as we each should be cared for. (For an extended look, see The Golden Rule in Sources. [BPS.307])
Baháʼí Faith (~5 million)
“Lay not on any soul a load that you would not wish to be laid upon you, and desire not for anyone the things you would not desire for yourself.” (Bahá’u’lláh, Gleanings From the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh)
Buddhism (~500 million)
“Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.” (Udānavarga 5.18 – 6th century b.c.e.)
Christianity (~2.5 billion)
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Jesus, Matthew 7:12, The Bible)
Confucianism (~7 million)
“One word which sums up the basis of all good conduct…loving kindness. Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself.”
(Confucius, Analects 15.23)
Hinduism (~1.2 billion)
“This is the sum of duty; do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you.” (Mahābhārata 5, 1517)
Humanism, Atheism and Agnosticism (number unknown)
“Humanists try to embrace the moral principle known as the ‘Golden Rule’, otherwise known as the ethic of reciprocity, which means we believe that people should aim to treat each other as they would like to be treated themselves – with tolerance, consideration and compassion.” (Maria MacLachlan, Think Humanism, 10/2007)
Islam (~1.9 billion)
“Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others what you wish for yourself.” (Hadith 13, 40 Hadith an-Nawawi)
Jainism (~4.2 million)
“One should treat all creatures in the world as one would like to be treated.” (Sūtrakṛtāṅga 1.11.33)
Judaism (~15.3 million)
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.” (Leviticus 19:18b, Tanakh)
“What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole of the Torah; all the rest is commentary. Go study.” (Hillel, Talmud, Shabbat 31a)
Native American Spirituality (number unknown)
“We are as much alive as we keep the earth alive.” (Chief Dan George)
“All things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One.” (Black Elk)
Sikhism (~26 million)
“I am a stranger to no one; and no one is a stranger to me. Indeed, I am a friend to all.” (Guru Granth Sahib)
Taoism (~9 million)
“Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.” (Laozi, T’ai-Shang Kan-Ying P’ien)
Unitarianism (number unknown)
“We affirm and promote respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.” (Unitarian Universalist Association)
Yoruba (Nigeria) (~8.8 million)
“One going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts.” (Yoruba proverb)
Zoroastrianism (~200,000)
“Do not do unto others whatever is injurious to yourself.” (Shāyast ne-Shāyast)
These teachings are not limited to religion. Many early philosophers—writing centuries before modern religious structures—also expressed principles of mutual care.
Ancient Philosophers
Thales (c. 624–546 b.c.e.)
“Avoid doing what you would blame others for doing.”
Sextus the Pythagorean (date uncertain)
“What you do not want to happen to you, do not do it yourself either.”
Plato (c. 428–347 b.c.e.)
“Ideally, no one should touch my property or tamper with it, unless I have given him some sort of permission, and, if I am sensible, I shall treat the property of others with the same respect.”
Isocrates (436–338 b.c.e.)
“Do not do to others that which angers you when they do it to you.”
Epicurus (341–270 b.c.e.)
“It is impossible to live a pleasant life without living wisely and well and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely and well and justly without living pleasantly.” (Note: “Justly” refers to reciprocal agreements against inflicting or suffering harm.)
Seneca the Younger (c. 4 b.c.e.–65 c.e.)
“Treat your inferior as you would wish your superior to treat you.” (Letters, 47)
Aristippus of Cyrene (d. 365 b.c.e.)
“Cherish reciprocal benevolence, which will make you as anxious for another’s welfare as your own.”
A Reciprocal Call to Action
One common interpretation of these many examples of the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” is the idea that these are mostly passive—about restraint rather than action—a version of live and let live, or coexist.
Appealing and valuable as that is, it is not the Golden Rule. In virtually every context in which the rule is found and expounded, it is about taking action, not refraining from it. We don’t all get our needs met when we ignore the needs of others.
Do unto others is a command to do something—the very same thing you yourself would need, and that others should also be doing for you.
That’s the Golden Rule, and it is the true wealth mined from each other’s gifts to meet each other’s needs. It is far more valuable than any shiny metal mined from the earth.
The Golden Rule is a reciprocal call to action. To mutual care. It is also found in the foundations of all just legal systems, in our own day and in history. More on this in an upcoming chapter.
The Gold in the Gravel
The examples above aren’t meant to be exhaustive but illustrative. The original texts offer more nuance and depth, and a deeper dive is available in The Golden Rule in Sources [BPS.307].
Of course, there are stories, teachings and rules in many of the original texts that would seem to flatly contradict what we see above. Beyond that, there are countless bullies who have misused the religions and traditions of their subjects to manipulate and coerce them into horrific acts.
I contend that we can justly reject the contradictions and bad acts. We have no obligation to embrace them simply because they litter our common history. We need to discern the gold in the gravel, pick it out, and leave the gravel behind.
And this, too: That moment in the third-floor apartment—seeing that mom and her three kids—changed me. At the time, I’d never traveled farther than Canada. Since then, I’ve visited countries and cultures all over the world.
They dress differently. They have many different things they say or do to remind themselves of what they believe and their family histories: beads, books, ankhs, scrolls, crosses, stars, foods, tablets, totems, amulets, stained glass, languages, songs, chants, poems, myths, stories, herbs, stuffed toys, paintings, calendars, notebooks, icons, dances, statues, crescents, photographs, robes, special garments, ties, tattoos, tassels, incense, symbols, head coverings, and so much more. I take no issue with any of it. I have my own little reminders—tokens of meaning. We all do.
I’ve now met thousands of people of every shape, size and color. I’ve stayed in the homes and with the families of many people of many faiths and none.
With only rare exceptions, they were warm, welcoming and kind. They loved each other. They cared for each other. They cared for me when I was with them. I cared for them. My eyes were opened:
We are one family, and it is only our mutual care that can save us all.
It is the secret of the ages. And our future.
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